Fear is a powerful weapon that toxic relationships and groups can use to manipulate, coerce, and control others. By instilling fear in people, these groups can convince them to do things for their own self-serving benefit.
Unfortunately, these fear tactics can be difficult to detect as they are often gradually introduced convincingly after trust has been established, making it easier for the person to fall under their control.
To raise awareness and uncover these fear tactics, I conducted a survey in my social media community, asking people about the biggest fear that their toxic group, relationship, or cult instilled in them. The results were eye-opening and showed that these fear tactics are often used in many different forms, some of which may surprise you.
It’s important to note that you don’t have to be a part of a cult or abusive relationship to be affected by these fear tactics. They can be present in any type of relationship or group dynamic where one person or community seeks to maintain control over others. By becoming aware of these tactics and how they work, you can better protect yourself and make informed decisions about the relationships and groups you choose to be a part of.
Here are 20 Fear Tactics to Look out for:
- Fear of Rejection: Creating an environment where a person feels afraid they will be rejected or abandoned if they don’t comply with the group or relationship’s expectations.
- Fear of Humiliation: Creating an environment where people fear being humiliated, embarrassed, or ridiculed in front of others if they don’t speak or behave in certain ways. They may also threaten to publicly reveal embarrassing, personal, or sensitive information about the person if they don’t comply.
- Fear of Losing Connection to a Higher Power: Making someone believe that if they leave the group or relationship, they will lose their connection to a higher power, such as God or the Universe.
- Fear of Living a Miserable Life: Convincing someone that if they leave the group or relationship, they will never find happiness and will live a life of misery. This fear tactic manipulates individuals into staying, even if they are unhappy.
- Fear of Outsiders, Systems, or Professional Support: Making someone believe that outside systems and professionals are not to be trusted and that the group or relationship is the only source of support. This fear tactic is used to isolate individuals from the outside world and to control them.
- Fear of Something Being Wrong with You: Making someone believe that there is something inherently wrong with them and that they need the group or relationship to help them heal or to fix themself/improve.
- Fear of Natural Disasters or the End of the World: Suggesting that a natural disaster or the end of the world is imminent and that the group or relationship is the only source of protection. This fear tactic controls individuals by making them believe that they need the group/relationship to survive.
- Fear of Not Making it on Your Own: Telling someone they will not be able to survive on their own and that the group is their only source of support. This fear tactic is used to manipulate individuals into staying and controlling them.
- Fear of Going Broke and Not Being Able to Support Yourself: Making someone believe that if they leave the group or relationship, they will go broke and not be able to support themselves financially.
- Fear of Being a Victim and Creating Your Own Reality: Suggesting that an individual is a victim and that they have created their own reality. This fear tactic manipulates individuals into taking responsibility for their problems, even if they are not their fault.
- Fear of Getting Sued: Telling someone they will get sued if they leave or speak out. This fear tactic controls individuals by making them afraid to speak out or leave.
- Fear of Speaking Up: Making someone believe that if they break their silence or share what they know, everything will go wrong in their life. This fear tactic is used to control individuals by making them afraid to speak out or leave the group.
- Fear of Being Attacked by Negative Entities: Suggesting that an individual will be attacked by negative entities if they leave the group. This fear tactic is used to control individuals by making them afraid to leave the group.
- Fear of Discrimination: Telling someone that they will face discrimination or persecution for being different or for being part of a minority group (such as the LGBTQ community) or for having certain beliefs or lifestyles. This is a form of emotional abuse that can lead to self-doubt and insecurity.
- Fear of an Unfulfilled Purpose: Telling the person that if they leave the group or relationship, they will never live out their soul purpose or destiny. This is a form of psychological manipulation that can make individuals feel like they have no other option but to stay.
- Fear of the Future: Threatening the person’s future by telling them they will suffer consequences in the future if they don’t comply. For example, they will go to hell, or will become ill.
- Fear of Loneliness: Suggesting that if the person leaves the relationship or group, they will never find love, companionship, or a sense of belonging again.
- Fear of Harm: Threatening physical, emotional, or psychological harm to the person or their loved ones if they don’t comply.
- Fear of Not Being Enough: Using the fear of not being enough of something: not masculine enough, feminine enough, kind enough, spiritual enough, to control and manipulate others.
- Fear of Losing Control: suggesting that if the person leaves the group or relationship, they will lose control over their lives and will be unable to make decisions for themselves. This fear is often used to keep people in line and can lead to feelings of helplessness and hopelessness.
These 20 fear tactics are just a glimpse into the many ways toxic relationships, groups, and cults can manipulate and control people. It’s important to note that this is not an exhaustive list and there are many other tactics out there. If you have experienced any of these fear tactics or have additional ones to share, we encourage you to join our Facebook community and share your story or experience.
Recovering from these fear tactics can be a difficult process, especially as the nervous system can react and go into survival mode. It’s important to take time to support yourself and heal on a somatic level. Calming your nervous system and creating a safe space for yourself can help you to unwind from the fears that have been instilled and empower you to move forward in a healthy and positive direction.
Please remember that you deserve to be in a group or relationship that does not use fear to control and coerce others and instead cares about your feelings, needs, and well-being.